A couple of people have told me lately that I am "lucky" because I am going along on my spiritual path at such a young age. Many people say that they did not start looking for meaning until they were in their 40's, 50's, or beyond. Because I started on my quest at a very young age, some people seem to think I'll go further because I have more time left (possibly) or that my life must somehow be magical and blessed. Or something like that.
It seems that I was practically born to live a life of spiritual pursuit. From the time I was three years old, I remember sensing that there was something more to life, and that the way the people around me lived wasn't all there was to it. I started reading my first Holy Text (the Christian Bible) at age 6, and have since read it through several times and done an intensive line-by-line comparison using three different texts.
I have spent thousands of hours reading spiritual literature and religious texts from all over the world, including the Qur'an, the Dhammapada, the Mahabharata, and others. I have studied ancient polytheistic pantheons to modern nature-worshipping paths, and many in-between. Because of this, I am where I am today, and I have come to the conclusions that I currently live.
That doesn't mean that my way was better. In order to study and learn and grow, I chose the life of a Hermit. Even though I worked and went to school and talked to others, all of my free time was spent in study. I sacrificed friendships and relationships. I will never have a Prom or a Homecoming or any number of memories that most people collectively share. High School and College generally annoyed me as I was always looking towards the future. While people in their 20's generally spent much time drinking, partying, and cavorting, I was spent bent over a book, praying, and meditating.
So don't envy my path. If you are just starting your spiritual quest, and you are in your 40's, 50's, or 60's, be happy that you have lived your life, and that you have many wonderful memories and friendships. Chances are you have a lot of support and connections in your life. This is the area where I continue to struggle.
Instead of living a balanced life, I let some areas (mainly relationships) suffer in order to pursue a different area. Now I am at the point in my life where I have to go back and learn how to make all of those connections and do all of the things I missed. But that's okay. We are all where we are, and I think we should be happy, and grateful for that. It is now time to revel in the present instead of lamenting the past or seeking the future.
Here's hoping we all find balance in life.
And if anyone wants to take me to Prom, let me know. :-)
I remember my first spiritual breakthrough when I was 8 years old. I can sink back into it as if it was yesterday... just like that...
ReplyDelete(And I never went to prom, so I am not the best one to advise on getting a date for it!)
It's never to late to have any future you choose - and there is no point in regretting what you did or did not do - it was you and that's the only person you can be. Besides most proms just aren't that memorable :-)
ReplyDeleteI really liked the episode of Bones where she went back and had her "Prom" with Booth. She reminds me a lot of me. :-)
ReplyDeleteIntersting post, Ame. Not that different from what you will go up for me tomorrow. For me, I sent my young years writing and playing music--yes, much orchestral but my songs were just me. I didn't share them too much until college.
ReplyDeleteA person is never too late to achieve their goals, their dreams or their spiritual path. Lovely, open and honest post. I hope you get to create your own Prom one day :)
ReplyDeleteI did have a great wedding (finally) and I recently did my grad school graduation. I also attended my hubby's 20th year reunion (he's one of those weird people who still have friends from high school). So I think I'm covering all my bases, haha. Still haven't ridden in a Limo yet. I'm saving that for when I publish my book!
ReplyDelete:)